I need anger management classes... Or yoga!

Here's another day of my adventures! 

   For those of you who don't know, I am a senior student in my school, and, in my country it is very taugh. The problem is, I actually cannot get out of my room unless, like  when I eat; I cannot really leave my desk unless I finished like 80% of my syllabus. But that is tiring- I hate that. Like, I am grown accustomed to every little aspect in my room and every Little Piece of dust on my desk and all my books till the limit that I can't really study anything, having brain blocks most of the day. 

  But today it was extra- it was so much of overdose I couldn't take it any longer. Each time iI get out oo my room,  just say hi or good morning, the answer would be "you're just awaken!  It's 7, and you're supposed to be awake earlier than that."  At breakfast time, too, my mum said "Do not take much time. You've already wasted two or three hours of the morning (which made me end up to make me ending up losing actually for 26 hours of my day until now I haven't really studied more than an hour) - that hurts so much.

   Everyone is saying":here  she's the  doctor!  Go to study! You're not supposed to go out a lot.  Hey!Are you watching cartoons?! you have no time for this!!... "

   Why can't? All I do is sitting at my desk, keep stuffing infos in mu brain, doing my assignments as much as I can muster. This is not it, thotho. I barely get to see people and socialise that I  became anti-social.

  Though my family sees me OK, I am actually not. I feel pressured, down, and lonely. I don't get to do anything but writing here, or in my notes. If you ask them how they feel, they're going to tell you" Great! We're so optimistic about her future.. "

   If you ask me, on the other hand, I will tell you that I wish this year would end; I wish I close my eyes, and when I open them, I will be 5 years older, better, more grown, much hopeful, and happier than now. Tbis year has given me downs more than ups.

   Despite that, it showed me my weaknesses and my strengths; it showed me that I can't depend on people's motmotivat  mine is the one that matters. Also, I need not get up from my fall if I want to participate in the race. I be willing to work hard for my dream to make them happen, and I must be willing to will and dodon let procrastination get the best of me. I want to make tomorrow better, and in order to do that, I need to keep moving  towards my goals. I will have to summon every leftover positivity in me to change my situation - I'm not going to be feeling like that all the way! 

 

    Although I drand 2 cups of coffee today, I feel tired. IveI exhausted every emotion I've got. Maybe I should stop drinking coffee because I feel I'm getting more irritated... No, I'm good!  So, I'll be preparing to sleep.

  Have a nice cup of coffee .... And a better fortunate day than mine.